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Jergens=magic

23 Mar

I’ve been using Jergen’s Natural Glow lotion for about a week now, and my skin is already an even, delicious golden color! It looks like I’ve been somewhere much more exotic than, say, New Haven. It’s really idiot-proof. With most self-tanning products, you have to be super attentive to covering every part of your skin evenly, as to avoid awkward hand marks or blotches. With Jergins, my skin looks evenly colored, even though I apply it very sloppily / unevenly. And there’s no orangeness!

I don’t know how I feel about their claim that the lotion will make your skin appear firmer. Why are they allowed to say things like that? It’s not right.

LUSHious products

24 Aug

I’m a sucker for cute packaging, all-natural ingredients, and yummy smells. Which is why I’m pretty obsessed with some of Lush’s new (and classic) products. Here are my invigorating picks for making the summer last a little bit longer:

OCEAN SALT CLEANSER ($34.95). This stuff is potent — it only takes a little bit of this moisturizing scrub to cover your face and make you glowing and radiant. This is exfoliation at its finest, and at its most natural. Because the cleanser is 50% sea salt, it will give you that fresh from the beach glow. (Note: Don’t be scared of salt. It won’t raise your cholesterol if you’re only putting it on your face). There are also avocado and coconut fats in the cleanser so you don’t have to worry drying out your face. And oh god, does this stuff smell good!

HAPPY HIPPY ($26.95). I’ve been on this shower gel since it first came out. I’ve just moved back into the dorms, which means I can be seen running back and forth from my room to the showers with none other than Happy Hippy. Not only does this smell delicious enough to eat (please don’t), you can actually put it everywhere! I’ve just discovered that it works AMAZINGLY on the face– like an instant facial. Probably because it’s packed with grapefuit juice and grapefruit essential oil. Yum.

SUMMER PUDDING ($5.95). This soap is adorable. It exfoliates, cleanses, and nourishes, all while smelling like delicious berry pie. I could settle down with this soap.

The Shape Up shoe scam

17 Aug

The American Council on Exercise has concluded : “There is simply no evidence to support claims that these shoes will help wearers exercise more intensely, burn more calories or improve muscle strength and tone.”

Beauty for the butt

16 Jul

Remember this classic SNL commercial, for Coin Slot Cream? I do. This is just to remind everyone what Lindsay once was and what she can be if we just believe in her!

Molto strange

14 Jul

Italian pharmacies have pretty much everything you could ever want or need or think about wanting or needing. Yet I was still very surprised to see breast enhancing cream on the pharmacy’s shelves. Pupa, an Italian cosmetics brand, sells a product that is supposed to, when applied regularly, make your breasts rounder and more voluminous and “more elastic.” The packaging is certainly eye-catching, with a big picture of a (round and voluminous and elastic) breast. Is is it even legal to sell something that is so clearly a load of merda?

I was shocked in Italy how prominent cellulite/fat reducing creams are. And people must buy them, because they are EVERYWHERE. I don’t think there are many products like that in America. Our bullshit of choice tends to be miracle pills, probably packed with enough chemicals to kill a baby seal.