Twilight bites

26 Jul

Scandolouuuus.

I’m not going to lie– I anticipate every Twilight movie like a giddy pre-teen. I think they’re absolutely hilarious, and I love being surrounded by middle-aged women who get all hot and bothered when Jacob gratuitously takes off his shirt in every scene. I love watching KStew attempt, with her hair flicks, down-turned-eyes, and sighs, to bring to life such a flat character. While I don’t think the Twilight movies are particularly good, this doesn’t really concern me. My favorite genre of film is the so-bad-it’s-good kind, which is why Twilight is a go to staple.

However, Eclipse left me disappointed. Why? Well first of all, Jacob’s shirt was on too much. Second of all, there wasn’t enough of Bella’s clearly more interesting, funnier friend, played by the fabulous Anna Kendrick. But above all, this film just reeked of mormonism. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problems with mormons. But I hate it when morality infiltrates my movies, especially stupid movies. Take the bedroom scene: Edward is concerned with saving Bella’s “virtue,” and thus saving her soul, so he refuses to have sex with her. This is supposed to be romantic, but I find it a little disturbing. Are they serious about this “virtue” thing? And is it really Edward’s place to protect it? Why can’t Bella decide what she does with said virtue. The underlying assumption that Bella needs to be taken care of–constantly–is an important component of her romantic relationships, and thus what girls (and middle-aged women) who are watching the films will idealize.

Also, Bella is definitely wearing a really nice matte, darkish lip color that I must have. But as usually, she is wearing significantly less makeup than Edward, who must take soooo long getting ready in the morning what with all that white pressed powder, red lip and cheek stain, and sparkles.

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